I like to think it a success when the cops are called
id be glad to
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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