how can u be prego again
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize