$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
