So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
