he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
