PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize