hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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