all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You're like the curious george of whores
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
