She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
