can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
