I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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