you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
