Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
