Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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