you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
