dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
