i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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