Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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