My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
