just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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