Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
