What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
