i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
