Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
