Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
