if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
