it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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