I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
