We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
