dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
