TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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