I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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