U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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