so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
