I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize