i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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