that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
