Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
