the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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