Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Terrible idea I love it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
