So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
