as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
