This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
