fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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