i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Text me some of your sweat
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
