i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
