I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
