Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
