where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
