Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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