In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
