Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
