Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
