She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
