He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
