she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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