"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
