Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
