God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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