My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
